Behind the eyelid...

Behind my eyelids are vivid pictures.
Some like to call them memories.
Some like to call them dreams.
Some like to call them nightmares.

I call them truths.
When the night is calm
And the mind is clouded.
The tears come.

I can not seem to stop them.
They appear from nowhere.
The thoughts of yesteryear when
I had no say in what transpired.

Would the clouds ever clear?
Would the sun ever shine again?
God knows all pains and sorrows.
He heals all wounded hearts.

How do I allow anyone in?
I do not know where to begin
My heart and pride are my strengths.
I feel that without them I am nothing.

I do not know where to draw the line
I do not know how to live
I do not know how to heal
I do not know how to love....